Mystery
by s1mp13
Summary: Not everything is what it appears to be when it meets the eye....
1. Chapter 1

To everyone who reads this...thank you for at least taking a look at this story. Story is gonna have romance, angst and mature themes so if u can't handle it I suggest you shouldn't read it. I've been working on this as a original fiction but decided to try it out as a fanfic. Hope you like and enjoy.

Disclaimer: All of the characters and themes that related to the Harry Potter Series are not mine.

**Suicidal Tendencies**

As I look out the window, the storm getting worse by the minute only

reminds me of the inner turmoil's that I have. The constant debating in my brain

and aching in my heart only makes me do what I do. I queh reality makes me act the way I

act. Going through all the things I've gone through why should I put up this shit.

I reach for my pocket knife and my stash of pills from my hidden box where no

one can see what I do. I cut my skin into thin, straight, and clean lines. Letting

the blood flow out of me as if my pain is the blood. As I use my pocket knife, I

ponder, while my life is in pieces why do the lines on my arm seem so orderly? I

can't figure out why so instead I pop two pills so I can escape reality once more.

More to come...Please leave any comments to tell me what you think. Thanks a bunch.


	2. Chapter 2

The characters that are related to Harry Potter are not mine.

If you think the story needs work then just write in a review. Criticism will always help. thanks.

I hear the ringing of my alarm clock reminding me of a new day ahead of

me. I slowly get up to see my scars from the past and present. Seeing the time

to be 7:00 a.m. I curse in my head just being the negative person that I am. I

brush my teeth and wash my face and screw early showers cause I don't want to

be clean for the day since I can do it at night. I wear normal clothes with long

sleeve shirts underneath my robes so that I can "appear" normal in front of my

classmates. Smart move for me. As I go out the door I look at my trunk knowing

that the secrets of my past are hidden in there. Without another look back I

start walking down to the Great Hall and eat my breakfast. Submerged deep into

my own thoughts. I walk to my class without any motivation and hear my

professor drone on. But even if I want to fall asleep its too damn cold

because of the breeze coming through the door. I wait patiently in my seat until I

finally hear, "class dismissed". I run to my room and toss my bag into the

Four poster bed. With a flick of a wand, I hear melodies that will calm me for

couple minutes. Once more… so that I can relax at in my own shrine of silence.

I arrive to class late, I sit down on a stool waiting for Professor Mcgonagell, my

Transfiguration professor to yell at me.

"Miss Evans?" Breathing calmly yet the anger was in her eyes.

"Yes, Professor?" I reply.

"Why were u late?"

"I ran up to get something in my trunk Professor" Replying as emotionless as I

could.

"Well then be sure to see me after class" Ten points from Gryffindor.

I realize not everyone's happy yet I don't really care. I could feel a set of hazel

eyes burning through as if those eyes wanted to penetrate my soul.

.Lunch is here and I start reading my Charms book and sipping my

pumpkin juice, not paying attention to the world around me. Until I see him, the

guy, who has affected me when I was young when I felt so close to the emotion

called love. I couldn't tell I was fucking eleven. So I just keep going on to

believe it was nothing but puppy love. I see him seating himself directly across

from me, not noticing me is a good thing. I think back to what he said,

" I think you're the ugliest person in the world."

Stupid me being the little girl that once was can only hurt emotionally break me

down. He looks up and says,

" Hi Lily. What's up?"

All I do is stare, sure he has good intentions probably not remembering what he

said so I reply,

" Hi, nothing much. How about you?"

"I'm doing good. Any plans for today?"

"No, except for more classes. How come?"

I slowly think to myself of my childhood crush maybe its still there. I sit there

laughing to myself. When I snap my attention back to him.

"can you repeat that? Sorry I was spacing out."

"oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to Hogmeade this weekend?"

" Umm, well you see, I'm broke. Pretty sad, huh."

"nah, I'll pay."

"no, it's ok I don't want you to do that. It's not my thing to have guys pay for my

stuff."

Then I rethink what I said, why am I saying that when I used to get my boyfriend

to get me everything? The irony of it all. So I tell him,

" maybe some other time"

He doesn't look as though he cared anyway.

"all right see you later bye"

And with those last words, I grab my bag and my juice and leave. I decide to

walk along the street of shops so I can think then I see him. The man I have

been with for awhile. The person who's hurt me without any thought. I try to run

but he calls.

"LILY!"

I turn to him saying,

" What the fuck do you want?"

" You know I just want you baby."

"Bullshit" Leave me alone and fuck off."

He just laughs and I want to run but I can't because he's the only thing that

actually scares me.

Flashback

" You slut, whore, bitch! Lose some damn weight why don't you! Your so

fucking ugly."

end

I think about those words all the time, not just him saying but my child hood

crush saying it. Maybe that's what made me lose my self esteem, my self

consciousness. I lost it all.

As I snap back into reality, I realize the surrounding atmosphere, the

sound students laughing in the halls, the glowing fire from the candles, and the

warmth radiating from the castle itself, yet even though

everything around me feels warm, why don't I? Then I look up to see the eyes of

the one who makes me feel like shit. I can see nothing in his eyes, maybe I just

cant read his expression well enough to figure out what he's thinking. I try to tell

him that I don't love him as I use to but then his anger gets the best of him.

"No, don't say that cause I know your lying."

I cringe in the fear of him trying to strike my face like how he's done before.

every time I see him I can only see the past however much I try to go beyond

that nothing is there. As if there was an empty slate to begin with. I tell him,

" I gotta go to class so I'll talk to you later. Bye"

As I turn he grabs my wrist pulling me back to give me a passionate kiss that

doesn't hold the heat I once used to feel. With that I just leave not looking back.

I arrive to Charms, without any thoughts in my head, and while I sit

through my lecture I think back to the times I used to actually laugh. The feeling

of giddiness when I was close to the person I loved. Why now do I see nothing

but blackness like my own mind is blocking my self from being brought out into

the light again. I sit there and think about all of my friends that I have talked to

that turned there back on me.


End file.
